Winners Don't Quit on Themselves

 I launched into last week on a yoga high, fueled by a snow day and Beyoncé. On Valentine’s Day I had a meeting/date with my school mentor and (though she doesn't know it) lifecoach, Yvonne. It is important to note that every meeting with her inevitably fuels me. We talked about Beyoncé and tarot and writing and how we’re going to make it all come together. She gave me a pep talk that I wrote down the second I got into work that morning. And then, I wrote a quick one to myself. 

“Go out this week, don't cancel and don't quit on yourself.” 

There’s that Beyoncé again. I had the chorus from Freedom in my head all week, “Cause a winner don’t quit on themselves.” 

In the spirit of Beyoncé, my goal was to keep every appointment, every meeting, every social engagement that I really WANTED to give up on. This wasn’t hard on Tuesday, or even Wednesday, when I didn’t really have much going on. I felt altogether relaxed and at peace. But by Friday it got tough. I had a morning meeting at Peaks which I was nervous about (to be fair, I’m nervous about every meeting), then a full workday, then therapy in the evening. Though everything went better than I could've imagined, by 9 o’clock, I was cooked. On Saturday I didn’t work until 1:30, and wanted to use my spare time to venture out to a local Psychic Festival beforehand. Though I arrived in an anxious frenzy and didn’t stay for long, I’m proud of the fact that I even went at all. All in all, this week, I did it. I didn’t give up on myself. 

On Sunday, we went to Rochester for a fancy coffee roaster profile night at which Eli was supposed to speak about Peaks coffee. He was nervous about it, so I did my best to make it a day full of love and happiness and support to keep him calm. We went to this lovely place called Maker's Gallery, which is a coffee shop and art gallery all in one-- essentially my idea of heaven. The sunlight streamed in through the windows, and there were flourishing plants and art and hipster young people everywhere with notebooks and pristine lipstick. I felt alive in there. Sometimes I find myself in new places that just absolutely fill my creative soul. This was one of those places. 

Yvonne asked me an important question this week. We were discussing being introverts, and how being around people sometimes drains us. “How do you recharge yourself?” she asked. I blathered through an answer, giving a satisfactory response maybe to her, but not to me. “How do I recharge myself?” I wondered. I don’t know. Does yoga count? Does diffusing oils count? Does doing a tarot reading and sitting with my feelings count? Does Netflix and snuggles count? Is it reading? Buying things for me? (Which I do so rarely it’s laughable.) I just don’t know. But I’m working on it. I’m trying to figure that out, and I reserve the right to still be figuring it out, but I think (to belatedly answer your question, Yvonne) it's weekends like this. I think it's reading about things that interest me and doing yoga and meditating. I think it's going to places that rejuvenate me, like Maker's Gallery, and taking lots of pictures there so I can take that feeling home with me. I think it's filling my creative resevoir. That's how I recharge.